Time for a re-start

Hello all,

I guess I don't have to tell you things haven't quite gone to plan recently. The first 4 months or so of the journey was pretty smooth really. 20 or so kilos gone and it was all looking pretty simple. Well the next four have been very tough. It started with a plateau in the weight loss and has slowly become a trip in the wrong direction. At one point I managed to get within a whisker of a 30 kg loss but at the moment I've headed back closer to 110kg.

So what does this all mean? Am I giving it all away?

In short no!!

I always knew this would be hard. I'd hoped this type of collapse wouldn't have occurred but alas it has and now I just have to start again.

The good news is I'm starting again from a much better position than December 31, 2010. So here we have it. From tonight I will blog every day for the next week. With any luck that may help me maintain my focus and the responsibility I set myself eight months ago.

I'll weigh in tomorrow to give everyone the new starting point and with some luck, focus and lots of hard work I can begin heading in the right direction again.

I think the major reason behind my recent fall from grace is stress.

It's not a cop out, it's simply a reality of my current state of mind. This is a big year for me. I'm now entering the final stage of my degree. Essentially I have 14 weeks to go, after which time I will be on the open market, qualified but unemployed. That is of course unless I manage to secure myself a job before that 14 weeks is up. Until about April this year I hadn't really thought that far ahead but the realisation that the moment of truth is fast approaching has added a fair bit of stress to my life.

Journalism at the moment is a very tough field to break into. Most news organisations are downsizing rather than hiring so the competition for jobs is very tough. Those close to me know what I've committed to this goal in the last two years (particularly this year). I've spent almost 1 week in three this year working at news organisations this year (as an intern). The idea is you just keep working for free until a job comes up. The difficulty is sooner or later everyone needs to be paid for their work.

So after all this work for more or less two years, I often feel no closer to a job. Now I know this can't be the case. I've built a reasonable network of contacts now and I know I've impressed a few people but the reality is that until a concrete job opportunity comes up the stress will remain.

But enough of the whining and petty excuses. Life is full of challenges and they can't be excuses for not looking after yourself. So from tomorrow it's back on the horse and back on the road to better health.

So tune in for the next seven days and hopefully by next weekend there's some better news to report.

Until then,

P

Human frailty

Human frailty sux. Or at the very least, my frailties suck.

You would think that after 6 months and having lost more than 25 kilograms, I'd be in a routine and it would be smooth sailing from here. But alas I'm here to tell you nothing could be further from the truth. To be frank, I'm seriously struggling for the motivation to even write the blog and I guess it's not too hard to understand when you consider I haven't lost any weight for well over two months.

The last couple of months really just hits home for me the close knit relationship between my lifestyle (IE: diet and exercise regime) and my emotional state. When I look back over the last 20 years its clear to me that my struggles with my weight, parallel my emotional struggles. Relationship dramas, job concerns and the like have often led to me turning to comfort food and in turn weight gain.

Now I don't know if I can blame that at the moment although I will admit the impending end to my studies and the lack of strong leads for a permanent job has been weighing on my mind. I've been committing an exorbitant amount of time to a variety of media organisations in the last 6 months in particular and despite my dedication (and obvious talent LOL) I often feel like I'm no closer to a job than I was a year ago. The fact that I'm an impatient bastard doesn't really help either, so if patience is a virtue then I should become virtuous ASAP.

As for the weigh in. Well I can't really face the scales at the moment. I'm just doing the best I can to not fall completely off the path while I get through this difficult period.

So I ask you to bear with me while I attempt to get myself back on track.

To use a motoring analogy I'm hoping this is just a gearbox issue and not a completely blown engine. I think that if I can find the necessary replacement clutch cable I can get this thing out of neutral, back into gear, and back on the road again.

At least it's not stuck in reverse.

Till next time

P

Yey Yey it's Weigh Day

After a brief interstate interlude, weigh day is back. Yes it's that special 2011 Saturday ritual I know you've all come to know and love. The day we all find whether Santa would class me as naughty or nice for the past week. Well the votes (or kilos) have been counted, the official tape measure has made a return to the love handle region so it's time to reveal the numbers at the conclusion of week 27.

So the numbers are.

Actually before I get to that I need to remind everyone that is was only about 4 days ago I posted the last set of official numbers due to my recent travel schedule. Due to the disappointing figures that greeted me upon my return from the nether regions, I decided to give the fat bastard diet an old fashioned jump start. I'm very keen to have a really good July so I consulted some literature, spoke to some professionals and non-professionals (cheers Mutty) and came to the conclusion I needed to shock the old system back into line. The result was, that I committed to dropping both carbs and added sugar from the diet for the week in the hope I could kick start the old metabolism once again. In addition I also committed to a minimum of an hours' exercise each day, although I admit I failed yesterday. Together I hoped this approach would remind the somewhat stagnant body how hard I've been trying to reshape it. I plan to return to a more balanced approach next week but I'll now reveal the result of the more or less "Atkins" approach.

Previous weight: 109kg   Current Weight: 105kg  A loss of 4kg
Previous Gut: 110cm   Current Gut: 107cm   A loss of 3cm

Great result all round but I have to say I'd struggle to keep it up even if it was the best way to go. Fortunately, it's not a healthy long term option but has achieved it's aim so I'm happy with that. Having said that I will be cutting down significantly on both sugar and refined wheat/grain products going forward. I'll freely admit I'm going to have a Vegemite toasted sanga on Monday and I can't wait.

As for the rest of my life, well insanity reins next week. Naomi returns from her school holidays jaunt to sunny Vietnam and it's straight back to school. In my uniquely stupid way I've managed to coincide her return and 1st school week with my own 7-day intern work schedule. So I'll going to have to find a way to be a parent while working Monday-Friday at Nine News, Friday night at the Broncos and Saturday and Sunday at Ten News. I'm praying this insane commitment to intern work leads to a job soon because it's beginning to do my head in.

I'll be back at Uni at the end of July to complete the final 3 units of my degree. It's going to be another tough semester though because of all the other commitments in the schedule. I'm really looking forward to a week at the ABC in a few weeks though as that's where I'd really like to work at some stage.

For the sports fans out there I'm doing four days work over the next couple of months with the QLD Bulls. They're playing Twenty20 practice matches at Allan Border Field each Thursday for the next two months and as part of the program, new coach Darren Lehmann is trying to get his young squad more media savvy at the same time. During the matches, myself and a few other journo students work with a camera man to mimic the conditions players will find during the Fox Sports coverage of the KFC Big Bash. We interview players as they leave the field after being dismissed and bail up players on the bench for interviews while the match is in progress. It's good practice for both the players and the prospective broadcasters and at yesterdays game I did a pre-match interview with BOOF (Lehmann) which was a lot of fun.

So as you can see it's a pretty full on existence at the moment in the the Fat Bastard world. Busy but enjoyable I reckon. Anyway, time to push on, I haven't done my exercise for the day so if I want to go to the pub tonight to watch Richmond I better hit the exercise bike for a bit.

So until next we meet.

P

What the hell is going on

I think the title of this post says it all. I've had a fair bit on my plate recently and if you copy and paste my blogging effort into my dieting effort you come up with the same result. Pathetic! But despite the dismal failure that has been the last few months I think I can turn it all around.

I'm back in Brisbane after a few weeks away in Canberra and a weekend of silliness in Melbourne (Richmond were the SILLIEST of all), and I'm ready to step it up and rediscover my early season weight-loss form. Because of the scale issues I experienced while away, I have jumped on the home ground scales today and updated the running (or rising as the case may be) tally. As you will see it doesn't make pretty reading.

I have a vague memory of deciding I would be under 100kg by June 30. Well it seems I didn't quite get there. In fact I achieved the opposite result. It seems the four odd kilos I needed to lose I actually managed to find, now leaving me with a fairly major hurdle to jump. The most disappointing thing is that I have now fallen behind my one kilo a week aim for the year. As things stand today, I've now lost 24kg in 26 weeks which on the surface sounds good but considering I'd lost that weight over 2 months ago it's a real shame to have let it slip away.

But onward and upward as they say and there is no point like the present to make a positive change. I have no more trips away and no heavy uni commitments for the next four weeks so I'm resetting the target of 100kg for the end of July. I know it can be done and I've deliberately set a challenging target to help me find the discipline I've been lacking in recent months.

It begins today with a 40km ride on the bike and a firm commitment to healthy eating. I've become pretty slack of recent months and certainly have been drinking too much grog. So at the very least, for the month of July, there'll be no grog during the week and a serious love affair with fruit and veg and with any luck I can convince the body again that I'm back on the straight and narrow. I'm even going to chuck in a low carb week (and I do love my carbs) to try to restart the metabolism and get things moving in the right direction.

I've enjoyed my only two commitment free days for my entire Uni break and tomorrow its back to the grind of free work and networking in the grand plan to get a real job. I'm doing a short term 1 day a fortnight gig with the Queensland Bulls teaching media skills to emerging players. Myself and 4 other journo students will simulate the media conditions (Fox Sports coverage) during the KFC Big Bash. We will do TV interviews with players on the field and the bench during a Twenty20 game and ask difficult questions to them after they've been dismissed. It's designed to get them used to the invasion of privacy and personal space that top level sportsmen deal with on a day to day basis. Next week I'm working in news at channel Nine. After doing a week with Ten recently and heading to the ABC at the end of the month, the opportunity at Nine will help me become more widely known in Brisbane TV News circles. With any luck one of these things will lead to part time work opportunities and more.

In the next day or two I'll do a Mid-year review of the Fat Bastard Diary and will set the agenda for the remaining six months. I'm as determined today as I was on January 1 to achieve my goal of 81kg so I better get my act into gear because there's 28kg to go.

Until then,

P

Injury Cloud

I'm seriously running out of excuses for my slackness. This maybe takes the cake though. I made grand promises about my commitment to blogging eight days ago and then went missing for over a week, so I guess that says more about how I'm going than anything I write here.

First things first. I'm not getting on the scales again until I get back to Brisbane on July 4. Put simply I don't trust these ring-in scales and they're doing my head in. After getting on last week and posting that glorious figure of 105odd, I got back on later that evening prior to my shower and discovered I was 2 kgs heavier. Having had a good day I found this hard to believe and damn annoying. So after a few of these issues in the ensuing days I decided to put the scales away until my return to sunny Brisvegas.

And won't sunny Brisvegas be a nice change. This is the first extended Canberra winter trip I've had in many years and I can confirm it's stupidly cold here. So much so that the dodgy Smeato body has begun a revolt, and is pressing a union claim for a return to warmer weather. I went ok for the first week but thanks to the ongoing minus 0 temps and a fairly heavy exercise regime in the last week or so, every dodgy joint in my body is going on strike at the same time.

Despite the stiffness and pain I'm off for my last Canberra ride today before the bike is packed up and shipped home. It is a real treat to ride the bike after the first 5 months of the year on the hybrid. I'm really looking forward to my first Brissy ride when I get home and we'll see how "Tiger" (bike's new name) goes in the balmier conditions. The Canberra rides have been good for my bike maintenance education though. Sunday morning's 60km ride was the toughest I've done since getting back on a treadly for a number of reasons. First, I haven't been that far this year so the last 10km was tough considering the group I was with kept the pace up. Second, the Mount Stromlo climb introduced me to the joys of low gearing. It's amazing how you just keep shifting down until it will shift no more and all you can think of is "I wish I had more low gears". Finally, I had my first puncture and was forced to do an on road tube change in -3 degrees. Needless to say, prying off a cold stiff tyre with plastic tyre levers and using numb fingers is not my idea of fun.

On the diet front I've remained on track so wouldn't expect any tragic news upon my return home. Having said that I don't seem to be heading south on the scales anymore despite my good work and it's a constant source of frustration. I had grand plans of knocking off the triple digit numbers by the end of June but it seems that goal is dead in the water and will need to wait for another day. I know its simply a case of persistence, and that every weight loss journey has its "Plateau's", but fair dinkum this bloody plateau has no end in sight. To elaborate, I was around 107kg in early May and now eight weeks later, I seem to float between 105-107 and I'm a bit bloody sick of it to tell you the truth. I feel a bit like a horse dragging a cart because of the bloody carrot on the end of the string in front of my nose, but that damn carrot never gets any closer.

Anyway, that's enough whinging for now. My carer duties come to an end tomorrow and I hope I've offered my Mum a break from the ongoing task of looking after my Dad. His condition is pretty stable and we'll know in a month how his broken leg has healed but unfortunately the dementia issues will continue.

I'm off to Melbourne on Saturday morning for a weekend with some mates which I'm sure will involve some questionable behaviour, the odd beer and plenty of footy. It will be a great way to wrap up the trip south before returning home to lie down for about a week I reckon.

Alrighty then, the bike and a Lake Burley Griffin Loop beckons so I'm off. I'll take my camera with me this time and get a photo or two to add to the blog as proof I put my money where my mouth is.


So until next time (sooner than this time I promise)

P

I'm calling this press conference to announce my COMEBACK!

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Yes one thousand sorrys. I am officially hopeless. Life has been a little crazy recently and as a result you my have noticed I’ve gone missing a little. But after what has been a whirlwind tour of news organisations, assignments, exams, events etc, etc, etc, I’ve finally jumped off the merry-go-round and come to a stop in sunny Canberra. Sunny and about ZERO bloody degrees I might add.

Yes I’m on my carer ‘tour de force’, and will call the retirement village home for the next week and a half or so. For those who are aware of my Dads health problems, I can happily report that he is on the mend. He is wheelchair bound at present but with time and a firm stick (to keep him off his damaged leg) he will hopefully recover well enough to walk again, at the very least with the aid of a frame. His mental health is reasonable, but as expected is deteriorating slowly but surely. It’s my first really close contact with dementia and it’s a real eye opener. In a nutshell he has little or no short term memory. This is a real problem because he forgets about his physical injuries and tries to walk etc if we aren’t watching him all the time. For this reason he’s staying in the dementia ward at nights and spends the days at home with Mum and yours truly.

So you’re probably saying about now, “stop crapping on and tell us if you’re still shrinking or not”. Well the truth is the last week and a half was pretty poor. I put on around 3-4kg from the last weigh in mostly thanks to a massive day on Saturday for the Brisbane Lions v Richmond game. As usual I was pretty heavily involved in the club functions on the day and MC’d an event for around 250 people prior to the game. I really enjoy this stuff and it gives me more experience at public speaking, something that is invaluable if I get into broadcasting at some point. I always have a couple of itty-bitty drinks prior to going on stage (I’ve nicknamed it liquid confidence) and I tend to perform better. However post-event, those drinks led to a thousand or so more followed by the traditional footy pies and hotdogs which in turn led to a less than perfect weigh in result.

“So what the bloody hell is the weigh in result”, I hear you scream.

Settle petal it’s on the way.

Current weight: 105.1kg           Previous weight: 104.6kg          Gain of 0.5kg

Current Gut: who knows           Previous Gut: 108kg                 ?????????

I’m pretty bloody pleased with that result actually. I really thought I’d be around 107kg after the week that was so 105 is a big win. Considering I have the next week and a half here with Mum and Dad and I’ll have few other commitments outside of my role as “Chief wheelchair driver”, I think I can make a good dent in the scales from here as well. I’m planning to get in around 2 hrs of exercise a day while I’m here and I started well today with a marathon squash contest with a great mate of mine. I copped a 12 sets – 2 flogging but considering I’m still a somewhat fat bastard, definitely a crippled bastard and my opponent is a semi professional tennis player I’m happy enough with that result. I’ve got a lake loop ride planned on Saturday with my brother-in-law. He tells me it’s around 50km so that should keep me out of trouble for the weekend. I’m also hoping to ring in for my younger brother’s F grade basketball team next week. F Grade sounds like the perfect level for me these days. 

On the Uni front, the semester is over and I’m awaiting the results from my 5 units. I’d be really happy if I could jag one HD, but I fear I’ll have to settle for Distinctions and credits thanks to the lack of time I actually spent on campus over the last 4 months. I’ve now got only 6 months left in my uni career unless of course I decide to take up the honours option that is being dangled in front of me. I think I’d only consider that if the job options dry up though as I’m dead keen to get a paycheque again.

I’m actively looking for work now and with any luck I’ll manage to position myself well before I graduate which hopefully will mean I’m gainfully employed by November/December. I’m not very picky with respect to the type of job I want. I’d be happy enough in any area of journalism and I’m chasing work in everything from print to online to broadcast. I am praying though I don’t feel I need to go to the dark side (PR) because I’m not quite ready to sell my soul just yet.

So as for the diet, I know it seems extreme but I’m still going to try to knock over that 100kg barrier by months end. I made the commitment at the beginning of the month and even if I fail I want to be as close as I can. With that in mind I plan to be very strict with myself from here on in and with any luck I can smash through that milestone in the very near future.

Thanks everyone for being so patient with me over the last month with this blog. I promise I’m still on track and now that my heavy commitment schedule is complete I’ll be on here more often again.

So until we next converse.

P

Here we go again, another Saturday, another trip to the scales. It's pretty full on to think I'm coming up on 6 months since I began this journey and I've certainly had a few ups and downs during that time. It's fair to say I still haven't been able to re-find the commitment or consistency in my diet that I had through the first few months of the diary. Despite that, I'm managing to move forward slowly at times, bit forward all the same.

So here are the figures for this week:

Current Weight: 104.6kg  Previous weight: 105.8kg      A loss of 1.2kg for the second week running
Current Gut: 108cm  Previous Gut: 109cm     A loss of 1cm also for the 2nd consecutive week

So there you have it another little win. I'll be happy if I can just manage to continue stringing those small losses together week by week.

Confession time. I've failed dismally in my efforts to stay off the grog until next Saturday. I headed to the pub on Saturday afternoon for a few hours and enjoyed a relaxing ale or two with the locals. As expected the buzz achieved from those few beers softened my willpower yet again and I let loose with a little binge last night. Sad I know but true. At least today I had to work at the Broncos game so I've been more sensible today.

I have a fairly big week coming up this week with my first full week in a TV newsroom at Channel Ten. I find when I'm busy like that I think less about what I'm eating (or not eating) and focus totally on the job at hand. The end result is generally positive. Lets hope that's the case. I'd love to think I can nudge into the 103's or even 102's by next Saturday to give me a shot at that 99kg target by June 30.

University has finally finished for the semester and its not a moment too soon. This has been by far the most challenging semester of my degree with my external work experience commitments keeping me away from the place for extended period. I'm certain I'll have a dip in my results this semester but I'm also hoping it's minimal. Having never got a mark worse than a distinction in two years I'm preparing myself for the inevitable, the dreaded credit, which I'm sure is on the way. I have three more units to complete next semester then its (hopefully) back into the workforce again and it'll be full steam ahead for my new life as a news-man.

I've just enjoyed perhaps my most productive week at the Courier Mail. I managed about six published stories for the week including my first Sunday Mail page 3 today. I'll get hold of a PDF for you all shortly and share it with you all. In the mean time here's the Ipad publication version. http://www.couriermail.com.au/ipad/origin-fan-ezra-pulls-his-weight-at-12/story-fn6ck45n-1226073548363

I'll be down in Canberra in just over a week and it looks like the weather Gods are preparing me for the seasonal change. Brisbane is smack in the middle of a cold snap and while it will never compare to those freezing Canberra mornings it's been damn cold for here. Last Thursday was the coldest day for something like 90 years with a max temp of around 12 degrees for much of the city. I was covering Broncos training for the paper and spent the morning outside in just a shirt (don't own a decent jacket) freezing my proverbials off. Peter Wallace (who I interviewed after training) was mildly amused at my shivering.

So it's off to bed for an early night and early start on Mt Cootha tomorrow. While I don't think I'll get my mug on the box this week I do hope they give me a chance to contribute.

Until we speak again, it's bye for now.

P