Time for a re-start

Hello all,

I guess I don't have to tell you things haven't quite gone to plan recently. The first 4 months or so of the journey was pretty smooth really. 20 or so kilos gone and it was all looking pretty simple. Well the next four have been very tough. It started with a plateau in the weight loss and has slowly become a trip in the wrong direction. At one point I managed to get within a whisker of a 30 kg loss but at the moment I've headed back closer to 110kg.

So what does this all mean? Am I giving it all away?

In short no!!

I always knew this would be hard. I'd hoped this type of collapse wouldn't have occurred but alas it has and now I just have to start again.

The good news is I'm starting again from a much better position than December 31, 2010. So here we have it. From tonight I will blog every day for the next week. With any luck that may help me maintain my focus and the responsibility I set myself eight months ago.

I'll weigh in tomorrow to give everyone the new starting point and with some luck, focus and lots of hard work I can begin heading in the right direction again.

I think the major reason behind my recent fall from grace is stress.

It's not a cop out, it's simply a reality of my current state of mind. This is a big year for me. I'm now entering the final stage of my degree. Essentially I have 14 weeks to go, after which time I will be on the open market, qualified but unemployed. That is of course unless I manage to secure myself a job before that 14 weeks is up. Until about April this year I hadn't really thought that far ahead but the realisation that the moment of truth is fast approaching has added a fair bit of stress to my life.

Journalism at the moment is a very tough field to break into. Most news organisations are downsizing rather than hiring so the competition for jobs is very tough. Those close to me know what I've committed to this goal in the last two years (particularly this year). I've spent almost 1 week in three this year working at news organisations this year (as an intern). The idea is you just keep working for free until a job comes up. The difficulty is sooner or later everyone needs to be paid for their work.

So after all this work for more or less two years, I often feel no closer to a job. Now I know this can't be the case. I've built a reasonable network of contacts now and I know I've impressed a few people but the reality is that until a concrete job opportunity comes up the stress will remain.

But enough of the whining and petty excuses. Life is full of challenges and they can't be excuses for not looking after yourself. So from tomorrow it's back on the horse and back on the road to better health.

So tune in for the next seven days and hopefully by next weekend there's some better news to report.

Until then,

P

Human frailty

Human frailty sux. Or at the very least, my frailties suck.

You would think that after 6 months and having lost more than 25 kilograms, I'd be in a routine and it would be smooth sailing from here. But alas I'm here to tell you nothing could be further from the truth. To be frank, I'm seriously struggling for the motivation to even write the blog and I guess it's not too hard to understand when you consider I haven't lost any weight for well over two months.

The last couple of months really just hits home for me the close knit relationship between my lifestyle (IE: diet and exercise regime) and my emotional state. When I look back over the last 20 years its clear to me that my struggles with my weight, parallel my emotional struggles. Relationship dramas, job concerns and the like have often led to me turning to comfort food and in turn weight gain.

Now I don't know if I can blame that at the moment although I will admit the impending end to my studies and the lack of strong leads for a permanent job has been weighing on my mind. I've been committing an exorbitant amount of time to a variety of media organisations in the last 6 months in particular and despite my dedication (and obvious talent LOL) I often feel like I'm no closer to a job than I was a year ago. The fact that I'm an impatient bastard doesn't really help either, so if patience is a virtue then I should become virtuous ASAP.

As for the weigh in. Well I can't really face the scales at the moment. I'm just doing the best I can to not fall completely off the path while I get through this difficult period.

So I ask you to bear with me while I attempt to get myself back on track.

To use a motoring analogy I'm hoping this is just a gearbox issue and not a completely blown engine. I think that if I can find the necessary replacement clutch cable I can get this thing out of neutral, back into gear, and back on the road again.

At least it's not stuck in reverse.

Till next time

P

Yey Yey it's Weigh Day

After a brief interstate interlude, weigh day is back. Yes it's that special 2011 Saturday ritual I know you've all come to know and love. The day we all find whether Santa would class me as naughty or nice for the past week. Well the votes (or kilos) have been counted, the official tape measure has made a return to the love handle region so it's time to reveal the numbers at the conclusion of week 27.

So the numbers are.

Actually before I get to that I need to remind everyone that is was only about 4 days ago I posted the last set of official numbers due to my recent travel schedule. Due to the disappointing figures that greeted me upon my return from the nether regions, I decided to give the fat bastard diet an old fashioned jump start. I'm very keen to have a really good July so I consulted some literature, spoke to some professionals and non-professionals (cheers Mutty) and came to the conclusion I needed to shock the old system back into line. The result was, that I committed to dropping both carbs and added sugar from the diet for the week in the hope I could kick start the old metabolism once again. In addition I also committed to a minimum of an hours' exercise each day, although I admit I failed yesterday. Together I hoped this approach would remind the somewhat stagnant body how hard I've been trying to reshape it. I plan to return to a more balanced approach next week but I'll now reveal the result of the more or less "Atkins" approach.

Previous weight: 109kg   Current Weight: 105kg  A loss of 4kg
Previous Gut: 110cm   Current Gut: 107cm   A loss of 3cm

Great result all round but I have to say I'd struggle to keep it up even if it was the best way to go. Fortunately, it's not a healthy long term option but has achieved it's aim so I'm happy with that. Having said that I will be cutting down significantly on both sugar and refined wheat/grain products going forward. I'll freely admit I'm going to have a Vegemite toasted sanga on Monday and I can't wait.

As for the rest of my life, well insanity reins next week. Naomi returns from her school holidays jaunt to sunny Vietnam and it's straight back to school. In my uniquely stupid way I've managed to coincide her return and 1st school week with my own 7-day intern work schedule. So I'll going to have to find a way to be a parent while working Monday-Friday at Nine News, Friday night at the Broncos and Saturday and Sunday at Ten News. I'm praying this insane commitment to intern work leads to a job soon because it's beginning to do my head in.

I'll be back at Uni at the end of July to complete the final 3 units of my degree. It's going to be another tough semester though because of all the other commitments in the schedule. I'm really looking forward to a week at the ABC in a few weeks though as that's where I'd really like to work at some stage.

For the sports fans out there I'm doing four days work over the next couple of months with the QLD Bulls. They're playing Twenty20 practice matches at Allan Border Field each Thursday for the next two months and as part of the program, new coach Darren Lehmann is trying to get his young squad more media savvy at the same time. During the matches, myself and a few other journo students work with a camera man to mimic the conditions players will find during the Fox Sports coverage of the KFC Big Bash. We interview players as they leave the field after being dismissed and bail up players on the bench for interviews while the match is in progress. It's good practice for both the players and the prospective broadcasters and at yesterdays game I did a pre-match interview with BOOF (Lehmann) which was a lot of fun.

So as you can see it's a pretty full on existence at the moment in the the Fat Bastard world. Busy but enjoyable I reckon. Anyway, time to push on, I haven't done my exercise for the day so if I want to go to the pub tonight to watch Richmond I better hit the exercise bike for a bit.

So until next we meet.

P

What the hell is going on

I think the title of this post says it all. I've had a fair bit on my plate recently and if you copy and paste my blogging effort into my dieting effort you come up with the same result. Pathetic! But despite the dismal failure that has been the last few months I think I can turn it all around.

I'm back in Brisbane after a few weeks away in Canberra and a weekend of silliness in Melbourne (Richmond were the SILLIEST of all), and I'm ready to step it up and rediscover my early season weight-loss form. Because of the scale issues I experienced while away, I have jumped on the home ground scales today and updated the running (or rising as the case may be) tally. As you will see it doesn't make pretty reading.

I have a vague memory of deciding I would be under 100kg by June 30. Well it seems I didn't quite get there. In fact I achieved the opposite result. It seems the four odd kilos I needed to lose I actually managed to find, now leaving me with a fairly major hurdle to jump. The most disappointing thing is that I have now fallen behind my one kilo a week aim for the year. As things stand today, I've now lost 24kg in 26 weeks which on the surface sounds good but considering I'd lost that weight over 2 months ago it's a real shame to have let it slip away.

But onward and upward as they say and there is no point like the present to make a positive change. I have no more trips away and no heavy uni commitments for the next four weeks so I'm resetting the target of 100kg for the end of July. I know it can be done and I've deliberately set a challenging target to help me find the discipline I've been lacking in recent months.

It begins today with a 40km ride on the bike and a firm commitment to healthy eating. I've become pretty slack of recent months and certainly have been drinking too much grog. So at the very least, for the month of July, there'll be no grog during the week and a serious love affair with fruit and veg and with any luck I can convince the body again that I'm back on the straight and narrow. I'm even going to chuck in a low carb week (and I do love my carbs) to try to restart the metabolism and get things moving in the right direction.

I've enjoyed my only two commitment free days for my entire Uni break and tomorrow its back to the grind of free work and networking in the grand plan to get a real job. I'm doing a short term 1 day a fortnight gig with the Queensland Bulls teaching media skills to emerging players. Myself and 4 other journo students will simulate the media conditions (Fox Sports coverage) during the KFC Big Bash. We will do TV interviews with players on the field and the bench during a Twenty20 game and ask difficult questions to them after they've been dismissed. It's designed to get them used to the invasion of privacy and personal space that top level sportsmen deal with on a day to day basis. Next week I'm working in news at channel Nine. After doing a week with Ten recently and heading to the ABC at the end of the month, the opportunity at Nine will help me become more widely known in Brisbane TV News circles. With any luck one of these things will lead to part time work opportunities and more.

In the next day or two I'll do a Mid-year review of the Fat Bastard Diary and will set the agenda for the remaining six months. I'm as determined today as I was on January 1 to achieve my goal of 81kg so I better get my act into gear because there's 28kg to go.

Until then,

P

Injury Cloud

I'm seriously running out of excuses for my slackness. This maybe takes the cake though. I made grand promises about my commitment to blogging eight days ago and then went missing for over a week, so I guess that says more about how I'm going than anything I write here.

First things first. I'm not getting on the scales again until I get back to Brisbane on July 4. Put simply I don't trust these ring-in scales and they're doing my head in. After getting on last week and posting that glorious figure of 105odd, I got back on later that evening prior to my shower and discovered I was 2 kgs heavier. Having had a good day I found this hard to believe and damn annoying. So after a few of these issues in the ensuing days I decided to put the scales away until my return to sunny Brisvegas.

And won't sunny Brisvegas be a nice change. This is the first extended Canberra winter trip I've had in many years and I can confirm it's stupidly cold here. So much so that the dodgy Smeato body has begun a revolt, and is pressing a union claim for a return to warmer weather. I went ok for the first week but thanks to the ongoing minus 0 temps and a fairly heavy exercise regime in the last week or so, every dodgy joint in my body is going on strike at the same time.

Despite the stiffness and pain I'm off for my last Canberra ride today before the bike is packed up and shipped home. It is a real treat to ride the bike after the first 5 months of the year on the hybrid. I'm really looking forward to my first Brissy ride when I get home and we'll see how "Tiger" (bike's new name) goes in the balmier conditions. The Canberra rides have been good for my bike maintenance education though. Sunday morning's 60km ride was the toughest I've done since getting back on a treadly for a number of reasons. First, I haven't been that far this year so the last 10km was tough considering the group I was with kept the pace up. Second, the Mount Stromlo climb introduced me to the joys of low gearing. It's amazing how you just keep shifting down until it will shift no more and all you can think of is "I wish I had more low gears". Finally, I had my first puncture and was forced to do an on road tube change in -3 degrees. Needless to say, prying off a cold stiff tyre with plastic tyre levers and using numb fingers is not my idea of fun.

On the diet front I've remained on track so wouldn't expect any tragic news upon my return home. Having said that I don't seem to be heading south on the scales anymore despite my good work and it's a constant source of frustration. I had grand plans of knocking off the triple digit numbers by the end of June but it seems that goal is dead in the water and will need to wait for another day. I know its simply a case of persistence, and that every weight loss journey has its "Plateau's", but fair dinkum this bloody plateau has no end in sight. To elaborate, I was around 107kg in early May and now eight weeks later, I seem to float between 105-107 and I'm a bit bloody sick of it to tell you the truth. I feel a bit like a horse dragging a cart because of the bloody carrot on the end of the string in front of my nose, but that damn carrot never gets any closer.

Anyway, that's enough whinging for now. My carer duties come to an end tomorrow and I hope I've offered my Mum a break from the ongoing task of looking after my Dad. His condition is pretty stable and we'll know in a month how his broken leg has healed but unfortunately the dementia issues will continue.

I'm off to Melbourne on Saturday morning for a weekend with some mates which I'm sure will involve some questionable behaviour, the odd beer and plenty of footy. It will be a great way to wrap up the trip south before returning home to lie down for about a week I reckon.

Alrighty then, the bike and a Lake Burley Griffin Loop beckons so I'm off. I'll take my camera with me this time and get a photo or two to add to the blog as proof I put my money where my mouth is.


So until next time (sooner than this time I promise)

P

I'm calling this press conference to announce my COMEBACK!

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Yes one thousand sorrys. I am officially hopeless. Life has been a little crazy recently and as a result you my have noticed I’ve gone missing a little. But after what has been a whirlwind tour of news organisations, assignments, exams, events etc, etc, etc, I’ve finally jumped off the merry-go-round and come to a stop in sunny Canberra. Sunny and about ZERO bloody degrees I might add.

Yes I’m on my carer ‘tour de force’, and will call the retirement village home for the next week and a half or so. For those who are aware of my Dads health problems, I can happily report that he is on the mend. He is wheelchair bound at present but with time and a firm stick (to keep him off his damaged leg) he will hopefully recover well enough to walk again, at the very least with the aid of a frame. His mental health is reasonable, but as expected is deteriorating slowly but surely. It’s my first really close contact with dementia and it’s a real eye opener. In a nutshell he has little or no short term memory. This is a real problem because he forgets about his physical injuries and tries to walk etc if we aren’t watching him all the time. For this reason he’s staying in the dementia ward at nights and spends the days at home with Mum and yours truly.

So you’re probably saying about now, “stop crapping on and tell us if you’re still shrinking or not”. Well the truth is the last week and a half was pretty poor. I put on around 3-4kg from the last weigh in mostly thanks to a massive day on Saturday for the Brisbane Lions v Richmond game. As usual I was pretty heavily involved in the club functions on the day and MC’d an event for around 250 people prior to the game. I really enjoy this stuff and it gives me more experience at public speaking, something that is invaluable if I get into broadcasting at some point. I always have a couple of itty-bitty drinks prior to going on stage (I’ve nicknamed it liquid confidence) and I tend to perform better. However post-event, those drinks led to a thousand or so more followed by the traditional footy pies and hotdogs which in turn led to a less than perfect weigh in result.

“So what the bloody hell is the weigh in result”, I hear you scream.

Settle petal it’s on the way.

Current weight: 105.1kg           Previous weight: 104.6kg          Gain of 0.5kg

Current Gut: who knows           Previous Gut: 108kg                 ?????????

I’m pretty bloody pleased with that result actually. I really thought I’d be around 107kg after the week that was so 105 is a big win. Considering I have the next week and a half here with Mum and Dad and I’ll have few other commitments outside of my role as “Chief wheelchair driver”, I think I can make a good dent in the scales from here as well. I’m planning to get in around 2 hrs of exercise a day while I’m here and I started well today with a marathon squash contest with a great mate of mine. I copped a 12 sets – 2 flogging but considering I’m still a somewhat fat bastard, definitely a crippled bastard and my opponent is a semi professional tennis player I’m happy enough with that result. I’ve got a lake loop ride planned on Saturday with my brother-in-law. He tells me it’s around 50km so that should keep me out of trouble for the weekend. I’m also hoping to ring in for my younger brother’s F grade basketball team next week. F Grade sounds like the perfect level for me these days. 

On the Uni front, the semester is over and I’m awaiting the results from my 5 units. I’d be really happy if I could jag one HD, but I fear I’ll have to settle for Distinctions and credits thanks to the lack of time I actually spent on campus over the last 4 months. I’ve now got only 6 months left in my uni career unless of course I decide to take up the honours option that is being dangled in front of me. I think I’d only consider that if the job options dry up though as I’m dead keen to get a paycheque again.

I’m actively looking for work now and with any luck I’ll manage to position myself well before I graduate which hopefully will mean I’m gainfully employed by November/December. I’m not very picky with respect to the type of job I want. I’d be happy enough in any area of journalism and I’m chasing work in everything from print to online to broadcast. I am praying though I don’t feel I need to go to the dark side (PR) because I’m not quite ready to sell my soul just yet.

So as for the diet, I know it seems extreme but I’m still going to try to knock over that 100kg barrier by months end. I made the commitment at the beginning of the month and even if I fail I want to be as close as I can. With that in mind I plan to be very strict with myself from here on in and with any luck I can smash through that milestone in the very near future.

Thanks everyone for being so patient with me over the last month with this blog. I promise I’m still on track and now that my heavy commitment schedule is complete I’ll be on here more often again.

So until we next converse.

P

Here we go again, another Saturday, another trip to the scales. It's pretty full on to think I'm coming up on 6 months since I began this journey and I've certainly had a few ups and downs during that time. It's fair to say I still haven't been able to re-find the commitment or consistency in my diet that I had through the first few months of the diary. Despite that, I'm managing to move forward slowly at times, bit forward all the same.

So here are the figures for this week:

Current Weight: 104.6kg  Previous weight: 105.8kg      A loss of 1.2kg for the second week running
Current Gut: 108cm  Previous Gut: 109cm     A loss of 1cm also for the 2nd consecutive week

So there you have it another little win. I'll be happy if I can just manage to continue stringing those small losses together week by week.

Confession time. I've failed dismally in my efforts to stay off the grog until next Saturday. I headed to the pub on Saturday afternoon for a few hours and enjoyed a relaxing ale or two with the locals. As expected the buzz achieved from those few beers softened my willpower yet again and I let loose with a little binge last night. Sad I know but true. At least today I had to work at the Broncos game so I've been more sensible today.

I have a fairly big week coming up this week with my first full week in a TV newsroom at Channel Ten. I find when I'm busy like that I think less about what I'm eating (or not eating) and focus totally on the job at hand. The end result is generally positive. Lets hope that's the case. I'd love to think I can nudge into the 103's or even 102's by next Saturday to give me a shot at that 99kg target by June 30.

University has finally finished for the semester and its not a moment too soon. This has been by far the most challenging semester of my degree with my external work experience commitments keeping me away from the place for extended period. I'm certain I'll have a dip in my results this semester but I'm also hoping it's minimal. Having never got a mark worse than a distinction in two years I'm preparing myself for the inevitable, the dreaded credit, which I'm sure is on the way. I have three more units to complete next semester then its (hopefully) back into the workforce again and it'll be full steam ahead for my new life as a news-man.

I've just enjoyed perhaps my most productive week at the Courier Mail. I managed about six published stories for the week including my first Sunday Mail page 3 today. I'll get hold of a PDF for you all shortly and share it with you all. In the mean time here's the Ipad publication version. http://www.couriermail.com.au/ipad/origin-fan-ezra-pulls-his-weight-at-12/story-fn6ck45n-1226073548363

I'll be down in Canberra in just over a week and it looks like the weather Gods are preparing me for the seasonal change. Brisbane is smack in the middle of a cold snap and while it will never compare to those freezing Canberra mornings it's been damn cold for here. Last Thursday was the coldest day for something like 90 years with a max temp of around 12 degrees for much of the city. I was covering Broncos training for the paper and spent the morning outside in just a shirt (don't own a decent jacket) freezing my proverbials off. Peter Wallace (who I interviewed after training) was mildly amused at my shivering.

So it's off to bed for an early night and early start on Mt Cootha tomorrow. While I don't think I'll get my mug on the box this week I do hope they give me a chance to contribute.

Until we speak again, it's bye for now.

P

Hold the presses

Ah...back in the busy newsroom and loving it. It's amazing how I can go from the smartest sport bloke in the room to the dumbest as soon as I step through the door at the Courier Mail. Fair enough though I guess. I mean these guys live it 24/7 and I have other plenty of other commitments. I tend to hold my own on AFL matters but I look forward to the time I get to sit around day in day out just consuming sport. One day...one day.

I think I'll get my first by-line of the week tomorrow, which is always a nice feeling. I wrote a couple of good stories today but the second is pretty big news in AFL world here is Brisbane so I should get the AFL page lead tomorrow. I've only had one page lead before so that'll be great if it happens.

On the home front I've decided to take a bit more control over my diet by following the weight watchers points plan that worked so well for me all those years ago. It seems like a good idea because I've found myself getting a bit lazy in the last few months and the WW thing not only helps maintain a calorie intake but also forces me to eat more of the good things. Fortunately I still have all of the books and documentation from years ago so I'll work off that old tried and true system.

I've also decided to stay off the grog until the Richmond game at the Gabba in just under two weeks. It's not like I'll be having a massive night then either but I'll have definitely be enjoying a few footy beers. It's not that I'm want to be a teetotaller but I just keep misbehaving as soon as I have a few beers so for the next 10 days or so it's sobriety all the way.

I've pretty much committed to doing Cycle Queensland in September with my bro-in-law and maybe one or two others, so it's time to really kick up the km's on the bike over the next few months. It's a 600km journey from Goondiwindi to Brisbane over 9 days which for experienced pedalers would be a walk in the park I'm sure. For me on the other hand, I think it'll mean a numb butt and and a whole new understanding of lycra.

Ok I'd love to stay and chat longer but I still have one assessment piece to finish so I'd better get back into it.

Bye for now

P

Excuses excuses

Ok I know I'm late but please understand I have an excuse.

My dog ate my homework. No really. I've just been so insanely busy with the last week of Uni I haven't managed to get to the blog. But rest assured I'm here now armed with the weekly figures.

So here goes.

Previous weight: 107kg   Current weight: 105.8kg  Loss of 1.2kg
Previous gut: 110cm   Current gut:   109cm  Loss of 1cm

Finally, I'm heading in the right direction again. Not a huge loss I admit but based on the last couple of months I'll take it. I'm hoping to put an exclamation mark on it by dropping another kilo or two by next Saturday.

This week is all about career advancement (or more accurately beginning). I'm back at Brisbane's flagship daily paper and I'm hoping to secure some ongoing work until until the graduate intake at the end of this year. It may not happen but I've got my fingers in more pies than Little Jack Horner at the moment so hopefully one of them will work out.

As for the diet, well it's just all about concentration right now, oh and avoiding alcohol. Yep, the grog remains a big hurdle for me. It seems after 2-3 beers or similar I'm anyones. Particularly if that anyone is a pizza or similarly poor choice of food. I plan to mimic a person who has a real life this week and go to work, come home and cook a healthy dinner, then go to bed at a decent time. Novel idea I grant you but I think I'll give it a go for the week anyway. I can tell you, there's a 13-year-old living here who'll love the idea of her Dad actually cooking an evening meal for a change.

Exercise wise, I'm back into the swing of things. I ground out 44km on the bike on Saturday morning and had more than a few boxing bag sessions earlier in the week. I'm looking forward to getting my hands on a road bike in a couple of weeks. I reckon I'll feel like bloody Cadel Evans when I finally get on a decent bike although I may have to invest in some long lycra for the chilly Canberra test rides.

As of next Friday I'll officially be one semester away from having a Uni degree. I must admit for most of my adult life I never thought I'd ever be able to say that. It feels great to have achieved what I have so far in both the Uni study and so far this year in the Fat Bastard Diary and it makes me pretty excited about what lies ahead for me in the next few years. I have no idea really where this whole thing is going to lead but these days I like surprises.

For those loyal Canberra readers of the Fatty Diary, I'll be in town for a blog tour from 20th June so let me know if you want to catch up in between my family responsibilities.

Thanks to Gail and Hayley for my virtual slaps last week, as requested I put them in the cupboard for future use but was forced to pull one out this morning after some over indulgence again last night. Fortunately the damage was minimal and I'm on track for another good week.

I promise to back up again on the blog tomorrow night and get a few credit points early this month so tune in again tomorrow for some more of my pearls of wisdom.

P

Michael Moore's job is safe

As my film and Tv group at Uni enter our 4th day of editing for our documentary film I can categorically state that Michael Moore and David Attenborough's are safe. I'll never make a documentary film maker! It's equally certain that I may be the worst video editor that has ever lived. For what seemed a fairly basic task only a week ago, I now realize things are not always as they seem. Who knew there were 300 thousand different types of video files and more importantly, different editing programs can't read them all.

The enormous effort required to get this thing finished by Friday has meant long hours in the computer labs at uni and piled even more pressure on an already stacked schedule of uni work. Friday is a big day. It signals the end of semester for a couple of my units with another one knocked over by Sunday. I'll close the book on semester one late next week after I complete my final weeks work at the Courier Mail. One advantage of the busy schedule is that I think it's a window to the busy nature of the industry when I get a job (wishful thinking).

One positive at the moment though is that despite the busy nature of my current life I've begun to get my diet back on track. By no means am I perfect but I've managed to fit in a fair bit of exercise in the last week and I'm confident of finally posting a negative number on Saturday. I have a long ride planned Saturday morning so think that should cement my loss for the week. Most importantly I have no work or play commitments this weekend so I can focus on finalising my uni commitments and getting in some decent exercise sessions.

I've decided that June need to be a watershed month in the fat bastard's journey. I've been looking back over the figures from the last few months and they tell a pretty sad story. One of flagging commitment to the diet and lately, seriously flagging commitment to this blog. Let me explain; On April 2 I weighed 112.2kg and last week weighed in at 107kg. That represents a 5.2kg loss in 8 weeks. I was really disappointed with myself when I worked that out but if anything it's helped strengthen my resolve.

Equally, I have averaged around 15 blogs a month for the first four months of this blog and delivered a pitiful 8 during May. Both results are unacceptable and I expect more of myself so I'm going to make a couple of bold statements to make me stay on track as we head towards the halfway point of the journey.

1. I WILL BE UNDER 100KG BY JUNE 30
2. I WILL BLOG AT LEAST 15 TIMES IN JUNE.

I expect my loyal followers to keep reminding me of these promises. One of the driving forces behind this blog was the belief that I perform better when I'm held responsible for my actions. So, in truth this blog and my physical transformation is a team effort. When I struggle I hope you will all give me a virtual kick in the shins and make me get myself together.

It's been bloody frustrating actually getting on the scales and seeing that annoying 107kg mark so I'm dead keen to leave it behind. In fact I'm so keen to see that 99kg on the dial, I've stepped up the exercise this week to overdrive just to make sure I get the Saturday result I'm looking for.

Grog remains a bit of an Achilles heel for me though. I still find I lose all commitment when I have a few drinks so I intend on staying dry for the next week or so. I've made that promise in the past before as well and failed so I'm really upping the ante this week.

So there it is on paper (or at least in cyberspace). Some big promises have been made and I intend on keeping them. The month to come will not be without it's own challenges though. A Richmond game at the Gabba, a family visit from brother number six and then a trip to Canberra to see family and friends will no doubt provide more than a few opportunities to fail in my task. So again I implore you all, my fatty followers, keep me on track. Call, text, facebook me, even feel free to give me a virtual slap if I look like I'm failing to meet this commitment. 

It's time to get serious 99kg is in sight.

Talk again soon.

P

Love is a wonderful thing

It seems the fat bastard has fallen in love. In love that is with the figure 107. That's right it's weigh in day again and on cue I've managed to weigh in right on 107kg. I'm beginning to lose track of how many week that is but it's becoming a little bit of an old boring story now. The irony this week is, apart from a brief flirtation with beer and footy food at the State of Origin on Wednesday night, I've been extremely good this week. It just goes to show that in a serious weight loss journey you really have to be...well...serious. There's just no room for consistent blow-outs. 

So lets look at the stats:
Current Weight: 107kg, Previous weight: 107.1kg...that's a loss of 100 grams. (woohoo)
Current gut: 110cm,  Previous gut: 110cm....that's a loss of...well...nothing (hmmm)


So the Sportfest continues tonight. After spending Wednesday night at the State of Origin and Friday night at the NRL double header at Lang Park, tonight I'm off to Cararra to see the Suns christen their new stadium against the Cats. While I think they'll cop a pasting, you never know, but either way it should be a good occasion.

With that in mind I'd love to stay and chat but duty calls and I must get myself ready for another tough night at the footy. Ah life can be so tough.

Bye for now.

P

And now it's time for the weather

Ah the life of a weather girl. Today I delivered my first ever TV news weather report and I'm here to say it's harder than it looks. Firstly, let me state clearly that I wore a suit not skirt despite the ribbing of some people I know. Secondly, you try saying "winds will be 15-20 knots, west, south/west shifting to west, north/west by early afternoon" Yes, that's right, tongue twisters I tell you. Thirdly, a two minute uninterrupted spiel off a teleprompter feels like ten minutes when the "on Air" light is flashing.

But I jest. It really is a lot of fun and I had every intention of sharing the link with you tonight but after a quick review of the webpage it seems whoever is responsible for uploading the new news bulletin has had a day off. It seems Friday's report is now supposed to see us through to Tuesday. Either that or we were so bad they felt the University would lose its funding if we went to air! I'm sure that's not the case though as our little news reading team is a good bunch this week.

So how's the whole diet thing going, I hear you ask. Well so far so good this week. I did have a few little drinky-poos Saturday night while I reveled in the ecstasy that was Richmond's victory in the Dreamtime clash. So as usual I have begun my week on the back foot, but that's hardly anything new as my regular readers will know. I put in a fairly hardcore 1 1/2 hour fitness session tonight though so I'm feeling pretty positive about recording a decent number this week.

The week ahead though is not without it's challenges. Wednesday night I'm set for a State of Origin evening, but the fact that I have news-reading commitments until 6pm and again the following night means I have no choice but to remain somewhat sensible. I'm sure a beer or two and a footy pie will be consumed but if I keep it to that, I think I'll come out the other side without too much damage. Friday I may have to work for the Australian so that'll be another long night at Suncorp and then Saturday I'm hoping to secure a media pass to the Gold Coast Suns opening game at the revamped Carrara Stadium.

So as you can see, temptation is around every corner this week so if I do manage to record a loss on the scales, I think I have the right to be pretty proud of myself. I guess it's just all about the bigger picture though and there will be plenty more opportunities for a night out when I get down to my goal weight. 

For the two wheel enthusiasts out there, I've put the bike purchase on hold to look into late breaking option. I was all set to purchase a new bike but after a discussion with my lycra-clad brother-in-law (who it seems has a collection of road bikes in his garage), I am postponing any decisions until I review his second hand offering. I will be making a trip south in the next month to visit my parents who are both recovering from falls and I will use the trip to test ride the available bike. If it fits, and feels good I'll spend half of my original budget and get a bike of equal or better quality so it sounds like a sensible option (for a poor student).

I'm still hoping to partake in the Cycle Queensland Tour at the end of the year so the sooner I get some miles in the legs on the new bike, the better. If there's any other masochists out there who think riding from Goondoowindi the Brisbane over a week or so sounds like a party then let me know and we'll make it a date.

Alrighty then, that seems like enough crapping on for now. I have made a mental commitment to four blog entries this week and as I'm two down now I reckon I'll get there. Assuming our QUT News team get the bulletins online sometime soon, I promise to post a link for you all to read and constructively criticize my work. So until the next blog, that's all the weather news we have tonight ... it's back to you Elly...

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Paul Smeaton ... QUT News

Thought I'd start today, with a sign off (backwards I know), to finish off my final (hopefully) week of unpaid TV. Who knows, one day I may even get paid for it.

The last couple of weeks has been pretty full on. With Radio and TV prac weeks on top of the usual Uni, work and family life, I've barely had time to scratch myself but I'm definitely not complaining. As I rapidly approach the end of this degree I am noticing how far I've come, often by looking at my uni mates and how good they are. The week just gone proved to me how good this course at QUT actually is. As I review the story's each day its clear that many of these guys will be gracing our TV screens and radio broadcasts very soon. Each day the Journalism faculty produces a very professional news broadcast which until recently appeared on community television. Theses days it's purely a web Broadcast but the quality of the work is undeniable. Feel free to check out the website and story archive here. http://www.qutnews.com/

As for the diet, well the pressure I've felt recently, I admit could have been handled better. For much of the last two weeks I've floated from one extreme to the other. What I can say though is, despite feeling as though I've lost the plot for much of the time (diet wise) I've continued to maintain my current stats. I'm taking this as a huge positive because it could quite easily be so much worse. So let's get to the numbers.

Current Weight: 107.1kg   Previous weight: 107kg   difference hardly worth mentioning
Current Gut: 110cm       Previous Gut: 110cm           difference unable to be mentioned

So what does all this scientific data mean?

How could anyone decipher 2 full weeks in the Fat Bastard Diary without a kilo lost.

Well, let me have a stab. One thing that was certain in my mind on January 1, 2011 was; This won't be easy. I figured if my bad periods resulted in me maintaining my weight rather than gaining some then I should be pretty damn happy.

I do though feel like I'm regaining some control over my schedule  This week I have few morning commitments so I'm planning to get in at least 3 rides. I've pretty much been off the bike for a fortnight since my shoulder dramas but since it's feeling much better now I'm looking forward to getting back into the lycra.

Warnie certainly provided a boost to the Fat Bastard crew this week by appearing in the tabloids looking trim, taut and terrific. I think it's probably the Liz Hurley factor, that is; every burger he eats is one less shared evening in the boudoir. I know I'd lay off the Whoopers if that was the case. So I guess that's the answer, hook up with a super-model, earn millions, turn the cherry square and the kilos will just slide off. Hmmm, that sounds like a stretch, maybe I'll just try some shakes.


So I'll leave you all now to ponder that thought and head off to the Pub to watch the Tigers send the Bombers back to the Dreamtime.

Until next time, stay well.

P

Lights, camera, action

Ah the glamorous world of TV. NOT.

It's not until you spend a bit of time on the other side of the TV set you begin to realize how unglamorous TV production really is. Ten times as much footage is shot than you can ever use and you quickly understand that "Take 5" isn't just the name of a magazine. To be fair I really do enjoy the TV work. Quite simply, it's easier than print or radio in my opinion but at the same time you have much less opportunity to tell the story due to the limited length of the packages.

Here's my latest story about the relaunch of Carrara Stadium. http://www.qutnews.com/2011/05/17/a-new-home-for-the-gold-coast-suns/ As much as I enjoy my practical rotation through TV and Radio News, they are challenging from a lifestyle perspective. Compared to Uni, the days are substantially longer and just because I'm busy the other uni work doesn't stop. 

I've also found it very difficult to find the time to exercise. I've been riding or walking to uni a few days a week to kill two birds with one stone (exercise and commuting) but since I now have to wear a bowl of fruit to Uni that's not possible. I'm planning a long Saturday morning ride this weekend to restart the flagging exercise routine.

My diet seems to be in a holding pattern at present as I'm unable (maybe more unwilling) to find the commitment necessary to continue a consistent weight loss. I'm trying not to worry about it as I feel once the prac rotation is over I can resume my successful weekly routine.

Pub dinners have re-entered my diet in the last few weeks and the associated beers have too often led to evening diet blow-outs. It's really weird how quickly motivation and commitment comes and goes. One day it's there and I feel like nothing can stop me and the next it's gone and I don't know where to begin to find it once again. I guess that's just life and I need to harden up and get serious again,.

Tomorrow morning I'm getting an early start and plan to get an hours exercise in before heading off for the day. I figure that's what people with real jobs do so if it's good enough for them then it's good enough for me .

So until we next meet it's good night from Casa' de Smeaton and hopefully I can deliver some more positive news soon.

P

Better late than never

Weigh in time.

As has become usual in the last month or so I'm way behind the mark with my blogging. But as I'm already a day late with the weigh in numbers I thought I better get myself together and update the world on my current status.

So without further adieu:

The numbers are EXACTLY the same as last week. That's right no change at all 107kg and 110cm gut. I'm fairly happy with that result actually after the week that was. It began well enough with one of my more sensible recent weekends but after dropping a kilo or so by midweek it was fairly well downhill from there. So everything being equal I'm happy to have maintained my stats from last week.

So that's the good news. The bad news is those stats were taken Saturday morning and everything since has been very much forgettable. So as I sit here tonight I'm hoping once again to just make it back to that magic 107 again by next weekend.

The journey has taken a bit of a twist I guess since early April. I've struggled to maintain any real level of consistency and it seems I take a step back as often as I do forward. It's strange how you can focus so well for a period and then follow it up with a period of little or no commitment. I will say this, I wish I could bottle that focus from March and call on it now because I just can't seem to find it at the moment. But its not all bad. I've managed to not really lose or gain anything significant during this time so I guess that's a positive.

Tomorrow I begin my next TV news practical rotation. It will be interesting to compare my reports from last year to this year. I'll post links later in the week to stories from both prac's and well see how different I look. I was hoping to be a few kilos less by now but I refuse to let it get to me because that always plays out poorly for me in the long run.

On the home front. I wish to send another cheerio to my Mum who is now recovering in hospital after having her hip replaced thanks to an unscheduled fall last week. She is doing well considering the drama that's gone on and I know she's desperate to get home so I'll keep sending out the positive vibes from here Mum.

P

Slack slack slack

Hello all.

It seems the only thing slacker than my diet at the moment is my commitment to this blog. To be frank life's been pretty busy this last couple of weeks and I've been falling behind on a lot of fronts including this diary. Now let me assure you I'm not giving up but I have leveled out a bit in enthusiasm for both the diet and the daily writing task but I'm sure I'll make a comeback on both fronts in the near future.

Since my 2 kilo loss on Saturday I've pretty much had a flat week. It's looking like I'll neither lose or gain anything of note by Saturday unless I find the time to run a marathon sometime before then. I'm smack in the middle of  a week of radio Prac for uni which is enjoyable but fairly full on. The main problem is that it's a full week of work in addition to my normal uni and volunteer load so it makes for a tired boy.

I have hit a hurdle though regarding my weekly exercise routine. While shooting some hoops on Sunday afternoon I managed to injure my shoulder and at this stage it hasn't really recovered. I've had problems with the shoulder before and I'm sure its related to the arthritis I have in other joints. I'm booked in for a doctors appointment tomorrow to try to get some relief and hopefully resume some exercise. The problem is that at the moment I can't lift my right arm above about 30 degrees and its aching most of the time so I'm a bit over it.

I must admit I'm having one of those can't be stuffed weeks at the moment and I'm finding motivation a little hard to find. These are more often the times when I begin to let myself down do I'm doing my best to hang tough and stick to the plan.

I want to send a big hug out to my Mum who today had a fall and unfortunately has broken her hip. I wish I was there tonight to be with you but I'm sending my love out from afar and I know you'll be o.k. soon.

Alright, I'll leave it at that tonight and start looking for a news story for tomorrow radio bulletin. Work,work it never ends hey.

Cheerio for now

P

It's all downhill from here

Bells, whistles and all that jazz.

That's the net result of this morning's weigh-in. I've finally reached the halfway point in this 12 month challenge. I really had no idea how I would go when I had this crazy idea on December 31 last year, but if I knew I was going to feel this much better by the halfway point, I would have begun much sooner. Of course the journey is far from over, 26kg more to be exact, but the changes I've made over the past four months will give me the impetus to go all the way.

So without further adieu let's review the figures for the week:

Current Weight: 107kg   Previous Weight: 109.1kg   Loss of 2.1kg
Current Gut: 110cm   Previous Gut: 114cm   Loss of 4cm

So without doubt the notable figure for the week is 107kg. After beginning the diary at 133kg on January 1, I've now lost 26kg and have 26kg more to go. It's pretty hard to imagine what I'll look and feel like at 81kg but I'm certainly looking forward to finding out. It's fair to say the halfway mark has taken a bit longer to reach than I'd hoped after I was about 8 weeks in. But I'm pleased that after a few up and down weeks I've stuck to my guns and begun to shed the kilos again.

I thought I lay out a few more stat's (mainly for my own benefit):

26kg in 126days (18 weeks) = 205grams a day or 1.44kg a week
23cm in 126kg (18 weeks) =  1.28cm per week
Jeans: I bought 2 x 46 inch pairs of jeans in October in Thailand and now I'm wearing 38 inch levi's. (I have my heart set on a 32 inch waist).
Lovelife: Still as barren as ever but hope remains.

So that's all the fat statistics, now for the exercise review. On January 1 2011, my workouts involved getting up, walking to the fridge and sitting down again (generally with a beer). So as you can see I was starting from a pretty low base. This morning I was up with the sparrows and knocked out 44km on the bike with a couple of biking buddies. It took us around 1hr 55mins and finished with a nice cappuccino. A very civilised way to exercise I reckon. So happy am I with my new found exercise and social outlet I've decided to bite the bullet and bring the bike purchase forward to this week or next. I've done a few test rides and have set my budget, so now it's time to part with some cash and get moving on a new treadly. I'm pretty excited as everyone tells me I won't believe the difference when I have a bike sized and fitted for me. Throw in clip-in shoes and a lightweight frame and I'll be at the Olympic trials by the end of the year (well maybe not the Olympic trials, does a dodgy knee qualify me for the Paralympics, perhaps not!). Anyway it's fun if you haven't picked up on that yet.

Career wise things are moving along nicely. I've picked up a job at community radio starting soon, I'll be news reading a few shifts a week I think which will be great for on air experience. Also with a bit of luck I'll find out tonight if I get the freelance gig for the Australian this month. I have another Broncos home match to cover tonight so I'll chat to the Oz journo and see whether I'm in or not.

Ok it's Saturday lunchtime and I'm starved so I'll leave the blog to you good folk to read and I'll get ready for a feed and a little bit of footy before work.

Have a great weekend, I will.

P

Mighty May is full steam ahead

Mighty May is under way. (what a word-smith hey).

As I prepare to rest my weary legs, I'll share with you my pretty good start to May. It's not perfect by any means but I'm certainly heading in the right direction again. The exercise demons that haunted me a little last month have retreated and I'm enjoying some fairly punishing workouts at the moment. I kicked off with the already mentioned 50odd km ride on Sunday, followed it with a hour long walk/jog (yes jog, think Cliff Young) Monday night, 25km ride on Tuesday and finally I did the 8.5km to Uni today as another walk/run and followed it up with a 15 km ride home. So clearly the exercise routine is back on track so it's time to get serious on the food front again.

Despite the obvious results since New Years Day, I still find myself making too many poor decisions regarding my diet. So I'm really trying to hang tough with my diet this month and see what I can achieve. Not surprisingly, it's all about preparation. I've invested in some more tupperware (knock off, not the real thing) so I can prepare single meal serve, fresh veggie packs. I find if it's already prep'd and ready to go I'm more likely to stick to the plan. So it's lean meat or fish mainly for the next few weeks with fresh veg. I have fairly simple tastes so it works well for me.

I am only 10 days away from my TV prac for this semester so I thought I'd look back at a few of the story's I did last year. I've included a link to a story I did for QUT News on October 1 last year. Pedal Power to cut city congestion. While I don't know for sure, I think I was around 135-137kg at the time (my heaviest ever weight), so its a bit of an eye opener looking at myself on camera now. On May 16 I will start a new week reporting for QUT News then I'll follow it with a week of news reading as well. I really love the TV and radio stuff so I am keen to present myself as well as I can on camera. I know I've got a good head for radio but it's nice to have a few strings to my bow as I push forward looking for work. The bad side to my TV work is the suit shopping I will be doing tomorrow. I will be looking for the most stylish & cheapest suit I can find to tide me over for this semester. I plan to be 20kg lighter by the time a need a suit on a regular basis so with any luck this one will soon be resigned to mothballs as well.

I may be on the cusp of a couple of new but exciting work experience gigs. Inside Football magazine may be an option for me in early July and Channel 7 sport in Brissy looks like it may be a goer as well very soon. In addition I may have secured my first paid match reporting job with "The Australian". It would be a one off only but if I do a good job I'm sure it may lead to more opportunities as the Oz only has a single sports journo in Brisbane and she can't be in two places at once.

So all in all things are looking pretty good. Uni, exercise, work experience and the diet are all on track so hopefully things stay that way. It seems like months ago I said I was almost halfway to my weight loss goal but thanks to my less than impressive April, it hasn't happened. Fortunately, it may well happen this week and I'll crack a little smile inside when it does. But really 99kg is the next real motivation at the moment. I'll really feel like my life as changed when I can say goodbye to the 100's

P

Super Saturday

Well here we are again, Saturday afternoon which means its weigh in time. Footy and a couple beers beckons (don't worry I'll be sensible I've booked in for a 50km ride tomorrow morning at 6am) so lets review the current state of play .

As you all know April 2011 has not been my greatest achievement in the journey to redemption. I've regressed somewhat but all in all I think when I look back over the last 30 days I clearly see it could have been much worse. I'm proud of the fact that even with a dearth of good behaviour, I managed to string together enough good days to finish the month in the red.

So to the numbers for the week are:

Current weight: 109.1kg,  previous weight: 113.2kg, a loss of 4.1kg
Current Gut: 114cm, previous gut: 117cm, down 3cm.
I'm pretty happy with those figures obviously after I returned from Melbourne with a few extra kilos in my hand luggage. 

Now it's time to review the month of April:

Saturday April 2 figures: Weight: 112.3kg and gut 116cm. So despite the debacle that was April I've still managed to drop over 3 kilos in four weeks which amazingly is nearly the weekly target. All in all I'm down around 24kg in 17 weeks so I remain well ahead of the original target. If I manage to repeat the performance in the next 17 weeks I will be 85kg by August 27 (and wouldn't that be something).

So as you can see the goals are clear and the motivation is easy (I can't wait to be in the 80's again) (either weight or decade!!).

May is a new month and brings with it a new focus. There's a big chance I'll get my new bike this month or next so I'll kick up the km's in the saddle as the month progresses which should really help the whole process. I thought I should start May on the front foot hence the 6am bike ride on a Sunday. With any luck and a bit of focus I intend to wave goodbye to the triple figures on the scales sometime in the next 31 days. That's my new mini goal for May, hit 99.9kg sometime before the end of the month and wave goodbye to the 100's forever.

OK so there you have it. Even in my worst month I have still managed to lose a couple of kilos so it's not all that bad after all. Footy time is upon us so I must bid you all farewell and put my game face on. It's time to get the Tige's home for win number two.

See you soon

P

Back in the Saddle again

I'm back in the saddle again after a week of treating my body like a rubbish tip. Today is by far my best day in a couple of weeks. Not only did I manage to maintain a perfectly healthy eating record for 24 hours but I also kicked in just under 2 hours on the bike. All in all a very satisfying result after the fortnight that was. Too make things even better I put in a solid 6 hours at the Uni library today breaking the back of one of my current assessment pieces in the process.

So as you can see it was a pretty impressive day all round. Time to see if I can string a few days together now. I have to say how much I'm enjoying the time on the bike. Take away the somewhat numb butt and crotch and its all positive. Its another one of those things I avoided for a long time by convincing myself I wouldn't enjoy it. Note to self, "Don't do that anymore". The bike is opening up another world of opportunities for me in both fitness and social activities. I've done a couple of rides with a touring group and am seriously considering an offer from my brother-in-law to join him on a 9-day tour later in the year. It will take some serious commitment juggling to achieve but I think I'd really enjoy it.

So much have I enjoyed my rides that I've now committed to buying myself a starting road bike. I've managed to scrape together nearly $1000 towards it so will soon be ready to make a purchase. Fortunately I have a mate who owns a small bike shop and he's promised to look after me so I may be able to get a bit more for my cash. The next step of course will be to deck myself out in a decent lycra outfit (Yes you'll be the first to see the photos I promise).

My trip to Melbourne may have left me with a mountain to climb in the battle of the bulge but it delivered more positive results regarding future employment. I met with officials at Richmond FC while in town and discussed, amongst other things, possible future media related jobs. It's not my preferred career path but if I had to do a sports media & communications role I'd love to do one at Tigerland. More importantly I had a meeting with Tony Greenberg, ex editor of Inside Football magazine. He's now works full time for Richmond in a content creation and research role but has agreed to help me secure work experience in Melbourne between semesters, utilising his extensive contact book. First stop will hopefully be a week at Inside Football.

I am facing a bit of a dilemma in the next month though with respect to my wardrobe. I have a week of TV news reporting followed by another week of News anchoring for QUT News as part of my practical work for Uni. The problem is that at the moment I'm in between suit sizes. The one I used last year now looks like a hand-me-down from Luciano Pavarotti and my older (slightly less stylish) fits ok but is a bit too black for TV work. I'm really a bit unsure as of what to do. I don't want to invest in anything new yet and hiring for two weeks seems counter productive. So if anyone has any other suggestions, please off them up now, HELP.

OK that'll do for now. I'll give you a break for another day or two from my incessant ramblings. anyway its late and I need to hit the sack.

P

It's all bad but it's all good mate

As we have a Royal wedding in our midst I thought I'd begin today's blog with a royal quote that I think aptly describes my last 14 days (in particular my Easter getaway).

"Tonight we're gunna party like its 1999" (the artist formally known as Prince, circa 1983).

And that about sums up everything that now follows. In 'AA' terms, I've fallen off the wagon and gone on a bit of a food bender. Since cracking that 108kg mark a couple of weeks ago I've pretty much been heading north on the scales ever since. I was in Melbourne over the weekend so chose not to publish weigh in stats seeing as I didn't have a tape measure and was using an unfamiliar set of scales. I guess I hoped the news would be better when I arrived home. It wasn't. So here goes.

Current weight: 113.2kg, Previous weight: 109.1kg - up 4.1kg
Current Gut: 117cm, Previous gut: 112cm - up 5cm

Well there you have it. My greatest fears about this process have been realised. Basically I've proved that if I give myself just enough rope I'll hang myself every time. It's a lesson learnt and a pretty painful and somewhat embarrassing one at that. It's true I had a great time while I was away but was it worth the damage, I think not.

Worse than the physical result is the feeling that I'm back to square one again regarding the craving demons. It seems to take a long time to get into a good routine so I'm confident the next couple of weeks will be very tough again now.

Tomorrow I intend to get up early and crack out around 60km on the bike. Hopefully that will work a few kinks out and give me a kick along the right track again. I'm also going to set myself a meal plan for the week and do my best to fight off the inevitable cravings. With any luck I will be able to get the journey moving again in the right direction.

On the positive side, I was lucky enough to be at Etihad Stadium in Melbourne on Sunday to revel in the glory that was Richmond's first win of the year. It rounded off my 5 night trip south with yet another extended celebration session hence the poor decision making and subsequent weight gain. I look forward to celebrating our victory next week with a  few less beers but an equal amount of cheers.

I also promise to blog every two days for the next two weeks due to my pathetic recent performance in that realm as well.

I'll close by saying I'm disappointed but realistic about where I'm at at the moment. I know that I've achieved a fair bit already and there was always going to be some bumps along the way. Pity they were Ayers Rock sized though. So onward and upward and I'll talk in a day or two, hopefully with some more positive news to report.

P

Drunken Blogging...A dangerous pastime

This poist containes a langiage and honesty warning for anyine squemish (and my Mum)

It's 3.01am. I've just walked in from yet another night out in Melbourne on my 2011 Easter get-away and I've decided to blog. Now while I may regret the move when I wake up tomorrow, I think it's only fair considering I promised honesty and a no holes barred accoubnt of my jounrey way back on January 1 this uyear.

wiht this in moind I request that grammer and speeliing corrections are not highlighted as it's very later, very dartk and I'm very full.

I have a weigh in in a few hours time and I can make this promise to youn all. It won't be pretty.  I've basically spent the last 4 days ensuring a catostrophic result on the scales and I'm very confident I will come through eith the goods in a few hours. If not, it can be considered an Easter miracle and nothign less.

f anything tonight I;ve come to terms with my own failings. regardless of what I have achieved to this point I have a long way to go. I've made more promises to myself more times than I can remember and broklen most of them as well so sooner or later I have to get eith the program and acept  reality. Real chage is the only answer, not half arsed measures.

So, I feel its only fair to issue a warnign to anyone I've promised to party with in te not to sidtant future. I'm not available. I will be dissapointing many a friend in the coming months as I turn down numerous invitations and opportunities in the search for greater good. I'm not promising total abstinance from alcojhol or fun but I have fouund in the last month in particular that I the more rope I allow myslef the more likely I am to finsh strung up.

So its off to bed. I refuse to spell check or proof read this post as that would defeat the purpose of writing it and I'll take whatever criuticm comes with it.

P

Footy, cafe's, wine and Crown

Evening all from sunny Melbourne. Well at least from Melbourne.

Short post tonight because it's late and I'm tired and ready for a kip. Today marks the beginning of my five day sojourn south and the challenge that is holidays. As much as I love getting away and enjoying the good life it certainly makes the weight loss journey just that little bit more difficult. So today began with a 5am wake up call from my super-duper brother as he agreed to be the designated airport run driver. I really didn't hold up my end by sleeping through my alarm thanks to yet another unscheduled pub session the night before.

So day one of the Easter get-away has been a bit of a struggle as I battled my hang-over from the early hours. Fortunately, some more Red wine, a good porterhouse steak for dinner and family company with the Victorian crew has delivered a more positive finish to the day than the start. The grand plan for tomorrow is a day session at the local gym before again enjoying some of the many pleasures Melbourne has to offer. I figure I can't avoid the temptations that come with a get-away and why should I? But unlike years past I understand the importance of balancing out the equation hence the gym session.

Over the next few days I'll be heading to the Yarra Valley for a day of wine tasting, heading to Docklands Stadium to cheer on my beloved Tigers for there first win of the season and enjoying more than the odd good meal in the food capital of our great nation. So please bear with me as I attempt to keep up my required volume of posts while also consuming copious amounts of food and drink with more than a few late nights I'm sure.

I've discovered a set of electronic scales tucked away in the bathroom of my temporary abode so I promise to post my Saturday weight regardless of how bad the number is. And it could be seriously bad. Having said that, there'll be no panic, no self pity, no masochism, just an acceptance that its a fork in the road that need to be negotiated. With any luck I'll be able to minimise the damage tomorrow and Friday and post a number that keeps me close to stable. If so I'll be able to enjoy my Saturday Wine Tour with a clearer conscience.

OK that's enough for now, talk again soon.

P

I Can Also Jump Puddles (A short story)

Let me start by saying tonight that I'm nothing if not consistent. Consistently inconsistent that is. Let me explain. As I mentioned on Saturday I had a bit of a weekend blow-out in the diet immediately following my 4kg loss weigh in. I also mentioned at the time that the resulting 1.1kg gain for the week had reminded me to remain vigilant and ensure I didn't put two poor weeks together. Well, that plan was short lived because not less than 8 hours after that post I was back on a familiar, somewhat destructive path. It began with a few hours at the pub with a beer or two and a counter meal and finished around midnight after a fairly consistent session at home involving beer, take-away food, a bottle of red, my online TAB account, sky racing and numerous Saturday night footy games.

Now, I understand to some of my readers that sounds like a fun filled evening with three faithful friends (the Punt, the Footy and the Grog) and I have to say they've been good friends of mine over the years. But it's become very clear to me that I need to find some new, less destructive friends if I hope to make these changes stick. You see, the main problem for me is willpower and without doubt it takes a holiday whenever I overindulge on the happy juice. Now I'm not saying I'm planning to get on the wagon, but I definitely have to make better choices when it comes to where and when I choose to have a few drinks.

So what does all this mean for the weight loss journey this week? Well, I am again fighting back from another weekend blow-out. The result was not as bad as last week but I can guarantee there won't be any 'Biggest Loser' style numbers on the scales this week. But as I sit here sharing my failing with you tonight I can confirm that I've begun the fightback today with an equally impressive good day to counteract the weekend. So impressive I felt it deserved a brief short-story. Enjoy.

I Can Also Jump Puddles.

By Paul Smeaton (aka Fat Bastard)

For Gail and Hayley who both love it when I write something a bit silly.

Paul woke early to the sound of rain on the roof. He liked that sound, he always had. Living in a sub-tropical climate, mornings like these gave him a rare reminder of those cold, wet mornings from his childhood in Canberra, snuggled up under the doona, warm and content. The problem was, these were great mornings to lie in bed and revel in that feeling but alas there was work to be done. He had made a promise to himself last night that today would be a turning point in his diet journey after a few weeks of overindulgence had weakened his resolve.

He was entering week sixteen of his year long journey to his goal weight and ultimately personal redemption and better health. For three months he had stuck firmly to his eating and exercise plan losing nearly half of his targeted weight, but recently old, bad habits had threatened to undo his hard work. Paul was beginning to understand that this journey was just beginning. Old habits are hard to break.

As much as he loved that sound as the rain tumbled down outside, Paul knew that a difficult decision had to be made. The previous night's promise involved a commitment to a decent exercise session including either a walk to University or a return journey on his bike. The weather then, was a cause for frustration temporarily convincing Paul that he would have to battle the the late afternoon exercise demons and get on the exercise bike when he finally got home from university.

Then suddenly without warning inspiration struck. An idea so unique it couldn't be ignored. Why hadn't he thought of this earlier? It seemed so simple now. Walk. Just walk. Who cares if it was raining. Who cares if you get wet. After all he loved the rain. He fondly recalled those Saturday mornings in the 1970's waking to that familiar sound on the roof above. Back then, he eagerly looked forward to his weekend football match where he could slip and slide around the wide open spaces of Downer Oval and hopefully get a kick or two. The wetter and muddier the better he thought. So why should now be any different.

It wasn't. The decision was made, it was time to get wet. He packed his backpack, careful to ensure the laptop and clothing were encased in Coles shopping bags inside the bag to protect them from the almost unavoidable drenching. Paul had a saying. "Once you're wet, you're not getting any wetter". Despite knowing it was a fairly lame motto for a wet day he liked it anyway and decided to embrace it by leaving the umbrella at home and facing the conditions head on.

Clothed and packed, Paul headed off on the 9km journey to his campus secure in the knowledge he would soon be as wet as he could get. The rain wasn't heavy but it was steady and within 15 minutes or so Paul was soaked through and pretty happy about it. Around halfway into the journey it seemed the weather gods thought enough was enough as the rain eased offering Paul a moment of reflection on his unusual morning decision. It was strange he thought, but as silly as most people would think he was, choosing to embark on a 1 1/2 hour walk in such poor weather conditions, he felt great. He was kid again if only for a moment, jumping puddles and feeling the rain on his face.

The break in the rain was short-lived as the clouds lowered and darkened and shared their bounty with the already sodden landscape below. But the more it rained the more Paul enjoyed his walk. Passers-by looked quizzically as they passed the sodden individual who appeared strangely content despite looking like he'd just completed a fully clothed pool live-saving course. One man commented sarcastically as he passed by, "Bit wet out is it?". Paul just smiled in return thinking, "poor guy just doesn't get it". He was happy and carefree. It was liberating.

After 90 minutes Paul arrived at university getting more sideways glances as he headed to the campus facilities for a warm shower and a dry set of clothes. He emerged soon after to face the day, finally dry, groomed and fitting the narrow societal view of how one should behave on a rainy day.

As he sat in his lecture listening to an equally passionate individual discus the intricacies of video editing and sound mixing he felt a contentment usually reserved for moments other than these. He was happy, truly happy if only for this morning, this moment. He had said "damn what anyone else thinks" and done what he wanted to do and it felt great. As the day continued and returned to the usual Monday ritual of lectures and meetings the feeling dissipated until it was time to head home, this time on the bus.

As Paul left his meeting and began the short walk to the bus stop the rain again tumbled down. At that moment, a thought, a single thought reverberated though-out his mind building in intensity with every step he took. He wanted that feeling again, that feeling of satisfaction, of individuality, of doing something silly but oh so good.

"Bugger it," he thought. I'm walking home.

And he did.



THE END.

Hope you enjoyed it.

P

Back to reality

Well here we are again, yet another Saturday along the long road to redemption.

Its fair to say this hasn't been my most impressive week when it comes to blogging and as it turns out the same can be said for my diet. Coming off the back of last weeks great result I guess it was always going to be hard to live up to that level of expectation. Suffice to say I haven't. As I mentioned on Wednesday I've spent most of the week undoing the damage done by a weekend of over-indulgence in a somewhat misguided celebration of last weeks result.

As far as the limited blogging effort goes, I can only say I'm sorry. Two entries for the week is not up to par and I promise to pick up my game in the coming week. Alright I've delayed the inevitable long enough it's time to admit the numbers.

Current weight: 109.1kg - Previous Weight: 108kg - Gain of 1.1kg
Current Gut: 112cm - Previous Gut: 113kg - Loss of 1cm

Mmmm, not quite sure what to think about those figures. I'd hoped I could get myself back to the 108kg mark after last weekend but alas the damage was too great. Interesting that the gut seems to have shrunk a bit though so I choose to hang onto that result for the week rather than focus on the negative one. In terms of the journey this result is officially my worst result. Its the second time I've gained weight but over one kilo is a shame.

OK, time to move on and put that week behind me, after all today marks 15 weeks since I began this challenge and with 24kgs gone I am really pleased to be where I am. The next two weeks will be a serious challenge for me with a trip to Melbourne for 5 days bound to test my willpower. With a winery tour and a footy match already booked in, and multiple dinners out sure to follow I'll have to make seriously good food choices or my 9kg buffer zone may be gone in a flash.
 
I've set a short term goal to crack the 107kg mark by next Saturday which will be a very significant result. If achieved I will have lost half of my planned weight and it will be all downhill from there. It really is amazing how quickly you can forget where you've come from. I look at myself now and do see a thinner bloke but in reality I still significantly overweight and that is helping me stay focused on the ultimate goal. I think sometimes about the day late last year when I jumped on the scales and saw 137+ and I remind myself of how I felt. That great shame, even disgust at what I had become or even worse where I would go from there.

So as I sit here today I choose not to beat myself up over this weeks gain but instead remind myself of that feeling late last year compared to how I feel now. I'm sure I'll have plenty more wins and a few more losses in the coming months but I will get there, I can promise that. 

That will do for now, its all a little bit deep and reflective today and need to get to KFC for lunch. Only kidding.

Talk tomorrow (I promise)

P

Out of hibernation

I'm back and once again (not for the first time) I apologise for going missing for a few days. I have no legitimate excuse for not posting for 3 consecutive days so let me try a couple of illegitimate ones on for size.

Umm, let's see; I contracted a temporary and very rare medical condition where my arms were completely paralysed from the elbows down rendering me unable to type. Its referred to as 'Loarm 72 hour Paralysis Syndrome.

Or perhaps; On Saturday night I competed in and won Facebook's "International Bejeweled Blitz Championship" and I've just arrived home after a whirlwind 5 continent celebration tour.

Or even; After my recent history of bizarre behaviour (see the long walk post) I went for a bike ride after blogging on Saturday morning and 3 1/2 days later found myself in Sydney where I was got a puncture and was forced to catch a Virgin Blue flight home.

No... the reality is it's been a busy week and I've lacked the necessary inspiration and required energy to write some of my regular dribble for you good folk. But after a recharge and good lie down I'm back into the swing and ready to fill you all in with another thrilling instalment of the diary.

Oh yeah, before going any further let me welcome my to most recent followers, number 16 & 17. Thanks for signing on to the journey its a pleasure to have you on board and its gets me 2 people closer to my goal of 1 million followers by year end, wow it seems so close now.

Well, its been a big week so far, as I said on Saturday I planned to reward myself with a pub dinner and a few beers. Well I did and then some. Add in a big cooked breakfast, a take-away lunch and a Sunday afternoon at the pictures with required movie snacks and the weekend gorge-fest was complete. Suffice to say I've spent the next three days watching my diet like a hawk and exercising like a maniac to undo the damage. It's all good though, I think despite the serious lack of judgement shown on the weekend I should manage to at least maintain last weekend's weigh-in or even better, lock in some sort of loss.

Some of my lycra-clad loyal readers will be pleased to hear I'm beginning to embrace the joyous pastime of cycling. I've now completed a couple of weekend group rides and this week have ridden to Uni and back twice including a marathon effort today. I decided after a 12pm finish, I had the time to extend my 47 minute journey home to get a few more miles into the legs. When it was all said and done the ride home had taken me 2 1/4 hours and taken me from Kelvin Grove to the city, on to Toowong, around to St Lucia, over the green bridge and through Fairfield and Highgate Hill to Southbank. I then travelled over the river through the city back to the Royal Brisbane Hospital and back onto the bike-way and home to The Gap. I have no idea how far but if you add in the morning commute then I did over 3 hours on the treadly for the day and really enjoyed it.

I had an audition for a community radio gig tonight that went pretty well so I'm hoping to be on air at 4RPH within a fortnight or so. It's just another step in my grand plan to create my own media empire by the time I turn 750. Geeze, I hope they find some fountain of youth medical breakthrough soon or I may be in trouble. I continue to work for the Brisbane Broncos on match day and I'm beginning to network with some media types so lets hope one of them leads to a job somewhere. I've had a few more yarns published in the Courier Mail in the last week which is nice as it keeps my name in the mix for a job there sooner or later.

All in all, I'm travelling pretty well considering my flashback weekend, so I can only hope that the scales are kind to me on Saturday. I'm heading back to the basketball stadium tomorrow afternoon to shoot a few hoops. I find it a really enjoyable and tough workout, heaps more interesting than a stationary exercise bike or punching bag, but I try to mix up all the methods so I don't get bored with one or another.

Okey dokey, it's late and I'm stuffed (mostly my quads) so I'm off to dream a little dream (think I'll dial up the one where I dominated the 1995 Second Semi for Richmond, kicking my 7th goal with a left foot banana after the siren to win the match). Yeah that sounds good.

Nighty Night,

P

Oh what a glorious Saturday morning

Saturday morning again and we all know what that means don't we....weigh in day.

Now as you know I been talking myself up all week with good reason. I've been really strict with my diet this week and even managed to avoid beers and footy last night with my temporary house-mate. It was pretty hard let me tell you but I was really determined to post number that truly reflected the weeks work. I even got up at 5.30 this morning and met some people from the BBTA (Brisbane Bicycle Touring Association) for a morning group ride. 50km's before breakfast can't hurt I thought.

So after all that hard work, sweat, tears blah blah blah here are the numbers for the week.

Weight: 108kg - Previous weight: 112.2kg - that's a loss of 4.2kg
Gut measurement: 113cm - Previously: 116cm - a loss of 3cm

Oh yeah, happy dance time. I'm obviously stoked with that result but admit that it's not a sustainable plan. I decided to see what was possible this far into the journey so I avoided all temptation for the week and averaged an hour of exercise a day with a 2-3 hr session Tuesday and this morning. While it would be nice to think I could do that regularly I know that I don't have the time or the will-power to do it every week. So while I'll continue to watch my diet and exercise often I think I'll be happy with a 1-2kg a week loss most of the time.

The big news is that I'm now only a single kilo away from the halfway mark of this journey (a 26kg loss). I knew at the start of this journey that I had it in me to achieve my goals but it's still pretty amazing when I think I've left 25kgs behind since New Years Day.

To refresh the original plan for those who have joined my diary more recently and perhaps missed my early blogs here is the original plan:

I set out to lose 52kg in 52 weeks from a starting weight of 133kg on January 1, 2011 to a goal weight of 81kg by December 31, 2011. The 81kg mark was determined by both a BMI calculation and my own personal experience. At 180cm tall my BMI at the start of this diary was 41 which is well and truly into the obese category. Currently my BMI has come down to 33 and while it's still in the obese category I'm now only 10kgs away from being able to call myself 'overweight' (wow, can't weight to tell you all I'm finally overweight). If I reach the 81kg mark I'll finally be considered normal by virtue of the BMI scale. Incredibly the normal range for my height is 60-80.5kg but if I got anywhere near the low end of that scale I reckon some of you would have me committed. As for the personal experience angle, I am drawing on my own weight loss journey about 10 years ago when I lost a significant amount of weight and got down to 84kg.

So there's a recap of the grand plan. I fully expect to continually re-evaluate my goals the further along this path I go and if I feel I have achieved enough before I reach the target weight I reserve the right to settle there. I do however commit to blog until December 31 regardless of my weight loss. Between you and me though I think 81kg is achievable, so at this stage I am pretty determined to go all the way there.

So there you have it. Another Saturday weigh in has come and gone. I'm pleased to have posted a Biggest Loser type number but I invite you to tune in again during the coming weeks for a more sensible (somewhat less exciting number). For me, it's off to the pub tonight to enjoy watching my beloved Tigers smash the hapless Hawks and I intend to supplement that enjoyment with a few cleansing ales.

So until next time, Carn' the mighty Tige's.

P

Gotta love POETS

Friday....ahhh. What a great day. I woke up feeling pretty crap but have come good as the day has gone on so I put in another tough hour long work out to really cap off a good week. I've really worked hard both on my exercise and what I've shoved into my gob this week so here's hoping for a significant result tomorrow. I am booked in for a ride tomorrow morning but the weather has been a bit dodgy so we may not end up going. Either way the scales will tell a story and I reckon it should have a happy ending.

I'm really beginning to notice a difference in my health now. My knee is giving me less trouble by the day. That's not to say it's healing, I will still need a knee replacement at some time in the future but dropping over 20kg off my frame has taken a lot of stress off the joint and it's certainly allowing me to do more than I've been used to.

Tonight is the final game of the summer basketball season so I'll get a Friday nights off coaching for the next four weeks which will be a nice change. I had great plans this week to do a bucket load of Uni work but alas I couldn't find my study mojo. I did knock over one assignment (a 30sec short silent film) which is for a film and TV unit that all Journalism students now have to complete. It's a bit outside my field but is interesting so I don't mind doing it. At least I'm beginning to understand what all those settings on a camera mean now! I have to give a big thanks to Naomi (daughter) for acting in my little project. She was a little shy (yes Shy) but ended up enjoying it I think.

So assuming I do have a good result on the scales tomorrow and I get my ride in, I plan to reward myself with a couple of cleansing ales while enjoying the footy on Saturday night. I haven't had a drink for a week so I reckon that's ok.

My Diesel Jeans from Thailand

Now I've realised that I promised a photo in my last post but forgot to load it so that's why it's in today.

And if anyone doesn't understand the title reference: POETS = Piss Off Early Tomorrow's Saturday.

Have a great weekend and tune in tomorrow for the numbers.

P

Powering On

Hey everyone, hope you are well.

I certainly am. I've been a weight loss demon this week and reckon I just may break through that 110kg barrier by weeks end. It's been a nice week not having to bust my arse essentially working and studying full-time. I don't have another internship week until June so I can set my mind to Uni work and a decent fitness regime.

As for the latter, I've had a really good week on the fitness front. I've managed around an hour everyday except today (bit of a couch day today but I watched sport so that's ok isn't it) including a ripper 1 1/2 hour basketball session on Tuesday. Thanks to my volunteer basketball coaching with Dragons basketball I get free use of the PCYC facilities during the week and I try to get down at least once a week and have a shoot around on the court. I'm really enjoying getting active again on the basketball court and if my knee allows me I'm even considering a run in the over 35's comp (bloody hell who knew you became a veteran at 35).

The diet's been in check this week as well and with two and a bit days to go before the weigh in, I'm hopeful of cracking another barrier. One thing that becomes more noticeable by the day is the relationship I have with my clothes. I'm beginning to look a bit stupid in a lot of my T-shirts now that my supercharged gut is fast disappearing and I've given up on all of my pants from the start of the year. I've included a partial shot of me from today wearing the jeans I bought in Thailand in November last year. The good news is I've still got some smaller gear to get into so the motivation remains in the closet for now. And even if I run out of existing clothes to aim at, I do have one final piece I haven't fitted into since I was about 19 or 20. My woollen VFL Richmond Guernsey. I think I got it when I was about 17 so if I ever get into that it may be time to call the folks from Guinness (that's the Records ones not the Irish ones).

So as you can see things are rolling ahead nicely. The rest of the week looks great as well with a 50 odd km ride on Saturday and a night at the pub with the Richmond crew for the footy on Saturday night. So its up early for a decent ride tomorrow morning as well which will followed by a day of homework, sub-editing to be precise. Let me show you how important sub-editing can be:

Let's eat, Grandma.  OR  Lets eat Grandma.  See sub-editors and punctuation save lives.

On that note, it's goodnight for now.

P

A lunch to remember

Alrighty then, back to the grind of Uni and starvation (I mean healthy eating).

Yes its a joke. well sort of. You see the thing is these bloody cravings just won't leave. Even though I'm feeding myself better than I have in years, its amazing how I still feel like a good-old-fashioned gorge-fest now and then. The difference between now and last year is that I've found the willpower (most of the time) to ignore that feeling and wait for it to disappear.

Let me explain.

I really have to tell you about lunch today. I haven't been the the Refectory this year until today and because my Monday lecture finished at 1pm I thought I'd check out the 2011 menu. Mmmm, (drool) Roast Pork, and not that pretend thin sliced pre-packaged crap you often get in cafeterias, the real stuff slow cooked tender and a real selection of vegies. Only one problem though.... crackle.... mmmm.... crackle. Now I should tell you that every fibre of my body was screaming at me in unison "YOU DON'T NEED IT" and I knew that this was a make or break moment in the fight against the craving monster. Yes, no, yes, no, the battle raged vehemently inside until a decision was necessary, mainly due to the three people behind me who really wanted lunch. So I'm pleased to say that after struggling with the decision for what seemed like an eternity...

I got the Crackle.

And god it was good.

And I'm not sorry one little bit. You see, in my previous life (that is the one where I did everything at 100km/hr before crashing back to earth) I would have skipped that little pleasure and then a few more in the ensuing days until I reached a critical point and binged. But not any more, it small pleasures all the way and plenty of the good stuff to balance it out. So hopefully this is a sustainable plan this time. It really does feel like it.

Hang on that doesn't explain how I beat my cravings at all.

Oh well who cares, I did love that crackle.

Till tomorrow,

P